The title is a lie. There are no adventures to speak of. The only thing to say about using modafinil is that I FEEL LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING AGAIN, and it’s amazing. I can DRIVE. I can STAY AWAKE AT MY DESK.  I can RUN ERRANDS. I can appear to be like other people without expending vast amounts of emotional/mental energy doing so.

My side effects have been minimal and I’m so grateful for it. I have my life again.

Still, in searching for other experiences with the medication, it’s become apparent that ‘body hackers’ love modafinil. It’s the latest ‘smart drug’ and I can’t help but be irrationally angry that people like that bulletproof coffee guy* have jumped on and are like hey, this thing is cool and it makes me smart and alert and I’m like, it took me months to get a prescription from my sleep doctor for it. It’s not some trendy lifehack: I need it to function.

Perhaps I’m just bitter that I need this medication to stay awake while driving or working or, uh, presenting myself as a normal human, while dudebros out there trivialize a serious physiological need for it. It’s a controlled substance, much like Adderall and Xanax, and it’s expensive and I had to do a lot of trial and error and land on my diagnosis before I could get a prescription. Don’t let this be a trend, with people getting it in some shady way that eventually makes it harder to obtain legitimately. DON’T FUCK THIS UP, YOU GUYS.

*I actually like bulletproof coffee and drink it pretty regularly. But Dave Asprey’s marketing feels so SKETCHY to me, and he charges a whole hell of a lot more for supplements sold in his shop, while touting some vague differences in the process or ingredients used to create his version that account for the insane markup. No thanks, I’ll stick to my plebe coffee and coconut oil.